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Posted by / 05-Aug-2017 13:54

Insecure dating

to know whether your partner really loves you, having to know this or having to know that puts a lot of unnecessary strain and tension into the relationship. Insecure people can still feel insecure even when they are told they are loved.

Wanting what is not possible (complete and utter certainty in all and everything forever) is not possible because imagination can still make up doubts.

Constantly wondering what your partner is thinking is a quick route to anxiety.

If they say one thing don't assume they mean another.

" Emma had been badly hurt before by her former cheating fiancé. Part of her knew that her new man was decent, caring, and honest, but the emotional bit of Emma felt that it was "just a matter of time" before things went wrong."If he's quiet I actually start panicking! We perform constant monitoring: "Do they look fed up? Making stuff up and then believing it is a sure-fire way to self-torment.

They scare themselves by assuming what they imagine represents reality. There are ebbs and flows and mood changes, moments of intimacy and closeness and comfortable spaces.

What we fear will be 'the end of the world' if it happens never really is.

Sit down, close your eyes, and strongly imagine feeling relaxed and secure around your partner.

"I'm driving him away, I just know I am," she sniffed. If I don't know exactly where he is I get suspicious. Let's look at this in more depth: When we enter an intimate relationship we can feel very emotionally vulnerable; especially if we have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships. When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things 'going wrong' (nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble). But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us.

"It's just that I love him so much and I can't bear the thought of losing him! These are the typical thoughts and feelings of the chronically insecure partner. And, of course, we usually find what we're looking for, even if it isn't really there at all. So what can you do if insecurity is blighting your relationships?

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